remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
