Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize