There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
