I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
