so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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