I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
