K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She bit a glass in half.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
