She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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