the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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