I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize