I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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