Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
