I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
