And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize