He had one of those small greek statue penises
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
