Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
