So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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