You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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