what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
