Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
