I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
