i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
