I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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