I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
