He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
