shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
