dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
