you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize