The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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