my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
