We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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