New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
