I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
