How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
