youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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