you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
