I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
