I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
