He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
