you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also, beer. Big fan.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
