Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize