I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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