Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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