So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
