dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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