So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
