you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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