i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize