she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
