yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How naked do you want me to be?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
