last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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