break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
