no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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