You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
