im drinking this country out of the recession.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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