People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
