this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize