Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
