It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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