i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
whose parrot is this?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
