officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize