Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
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