so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
