sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
