Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
how drunk are you?
Several
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
