Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize