you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I believe in your delicious
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
