Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My cat gives me a boner
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
