Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
