Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
