She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
