Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I lost the right to judge tonight
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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