Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
